Chinese Heavyweight Boxer, No Way??

Since I’ve been alone these last few days, OK Cooper’s been with me, I have been religiously sticking to my (The Madge’s) diet. It has finally come to me that I really haven’t gained weight but rather a victim of a conspiracy by the yellow people to have Westerner’s starve to death. I believe that since there are no XL nor Large models in the Far East they just “wing it” when it comes to sizing and slowly reduce the sizes until one can not fit into the Large but have to bump up to an XL, or XL to XXL. You then become depressed, go on a drastic diet thereby weakening your body and go into a state of Depression allowing these yellow skinned cowards to conquer us. Yup, I really do believe it, but how did they manage to make my wedding band shrink???