Way Too Much Time: Home & Cholera Free

Home sweet home. Our vacation is over and it's now time to prepare for our next trip in four months.
While checking in to board the ship we had to go through security, the agent asked me to place phone, pen, watch, belt buckle and anything else that was metal in a bin that would be put through their xray machine. He then proceeded to pat me down, I asked him what were they looking for and he responded "weapons". I couldn't resist and said "Where am I going after this search?" He told me that he hoped I was getting on the ship. "OK, once I am on the ship, I go to the dining room and order a steak, how will I cut the steak"? He looked at me and said "Sir, I am only doing my job".
Our room on board the cruise ship was probably the biggest and best we've had. Every night we had our friends, the Calonico's & Kennedy's, joining us on our patio for cocktails discussing what happened during the day and to make plans for the next day. Only had two days out of eleven of a "slightly" choppy seas but no one felt ill. "The Madge" spent many many many hours in the casino and if you ask her how she did it's always the same, "I won". What she doesn't tell you is she spent $500 to win $200.
Late one night she came into the room and fluttered about getting ready for bed. I only opened one eye just to make sure she was alright and went right back to sleep. While she was in the bathroom the phone rang and "The Madge's" conversation went something like this. "Hello." "Oh you want to talk to my husband." She then came out of the bathroom and handed me the phone saying it was for me. One o'clock in the morning, who could be calling? "Hello" I said. "Hello Mr. Murphy, this in the ships hospital and we just received an medical emergency signal from your room." "Is everything alright?" I replied that everything was fine and I had been fast asleep. "Are you sure everything is fine? Your wife said you pulled the medical emergency cord". I assured the voice that I was sound asleep and my wife must have pulled the emergency cord by mistake. "OK Mr. Murphy as long as there isn't an emergency have a good night". Now I was 100% awake but it was best that I did not confront "The Madge" with what just happened. The next morning when I asked about the pulled cord she casually waved me off. Thirty minutes later I had tied the emergency cord to shower fixture so high up that she would have had to stand on the shower stool to reach it. The rest of the trip the phone never rang.
The second day of the cruise she told me that she lost her "Ship credit card", so I asked her to go down to the guest relations and have them issue a new one. The woman said not to feel bad as it happens all the time. The NEXT day "The Madge" tells me that she can't find her new card. "It has to be in the room as you needed it to get in last night" I explained. "I've looked all over the place and can't find it" so I told her she better get another one. Later that day I went back to the room and found out MY CARD didn't work, fortunately the room steward was in the hallway and I asked her to open the door as my key doesn't work. Once the door was opened I noticed "The Madge's missing card on the cocktail table. The room steward said she found it "IN OUR BED". Huh??? IN OUR BED???? Why would "The Madge" need her room card in bed? Thought it best not to ask. Since "The Madge" was on her third card in three days they voided my card and now I had to get a new one.
There are other stories but it's best I don't tell you them now, but maybe over a drink or two at a later date.
Now for the pictures.